As a mother, my daughter is more than just a gift- she is a priceless treasure that I feel most responsible to love and protect. Yet there are times when even I, though I am with her all the time, cannot keep certain things from happening to her. Right now, as a baby, I can’t keep her from feeling pain as she’s teething. When she’s a little older and learning to walk, I won’t always be able to catch her when she falls down. And later, as she navigates the world through different friendships and events, I won’t be able to keep away disappointments and failures. I can be there after to comfort her and wipe away her tears and guide her through this fallen world as best I can, but my physical limitations and mortal nature simply cannot allow me to be everywhere she is and protect her all the time.
This is when I have to remind myself of whose child she is. When she was first born, and really, as soon as we knew we were pregnant, Jacob and I committed Bethany to the Lord. We realize that she is just as I first said: a gift from Him. We are only stewards of His beautiful treasure. God has entrusted us with His prized creation. I know that I am vastly incapable of raising her up by myself, but with God’s grace I can raise her up in Him. I have to realize that God loves Bethany even more than I ever could, and He wants to be her God and heavenly Father. Therefore, I know that I can trust Him with Bethany.
However, this trust will be be put to the test. As I said in the intro, Satan is a powerful enemy, and one who is cruel and unfair, playing by his own set of rules. He preys on exhausted mothers and tries to use even little children to get us to doubt God and His unfailing love for us. A minor, but simple example:
Bethany started teething at four months of age. At one point she had, for a week, been in incredible pain all the time. It was so bad, and the pain in her jaw and ear were so great that she began clawing at the side of her face, leaving bright red scratches. As her mom, it tore me apart to see her in pain, knowing that Jacob and I had done everything we could to ease her pain. Orajel, Tylenol, frozen wash cloths, hot wash cloths, teething rings, prayer and petition to the Lord to take away the tormenting pain. I hadn’t slept in three days, and I was at my wits end. Finally, as Bethany was screaming in pain and exhaustion, and I was unsuccessfully trying to comfort her, I prayed one last time. ”God, I need you to do something now! I can’t do this anymore and I can’t stand seeing Bethany in pain. If you love her half as much as I do, you’ll take it away!” In my faith, knowing I serve a God who is more than capable of doing something as little as taking away the pain of a teething baby, I expected immediate relief and healing. But it didn’t come. I started to work myself into a bad place, with thoughts of, “Fine. If God doesn’t care enough, why bother praying? I’ll just handle this myself. I love my baby that much.”
Like God works, He had my mom call me that afternoon. I poured out my heart, venting my frustrations. She listened patiently, and then said, “Naomi, I know it’s hard. But this is how Satan works- taking advantage of tired moms and using any means he can to get us to doubt the Lord. Nothing could hurt the heart of God more than His children not trusting Him, and Satan targets just that: the character of God.” Looking back, I realize that I had a very important lesson to learn: Trust. It is easy for me to say that I trust God with all sorts of things, but when it comes to something so very close to my heart, that trust and faith gets put to the test. I am having to learn that I cannot be responsible for Bethany’s happiness, health, or even safety. That is not to say that I don’t care. It simply means that I do the best I can with the tools God has given me, realizing that she ultimately belongs to Him, and I can trust His love.
Bethany will have to go through difficult times in this life, just like I do. In it all, I know that God wants to produce perseverance, and that perseverance will produce character, and that character will produce hope- Romans 5:3-4. I have to learn to trust God with my children now, because someday it might not just be something as simple as teething or a scrape on their elbow. It could be a serious illness, persecution, or even death. I am learning that I can trust the Lord, even when I don’t understand, even in suffering and hardships, even when it comes to my kids, because I serve a good and faithful God. I am working towards a far greater glory that these present sufferings cannot compare with. Romans 8:18
